I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
