Please, let me fuck your mom
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
