Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
from now on my penis is your penis
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
