wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
