you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
