Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
