I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
