her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
