and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
