The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize