I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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