I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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