I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
