Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
