why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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