I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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