I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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