His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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