His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
