Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
