So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
