Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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