And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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