porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
