Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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