I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
