lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
