You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
