Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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