By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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