Well apparently he's into motor boating.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
