Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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