just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
