is your mom at the bar?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
