I wanna passion pit in your ass
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
