I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
