Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
