The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Quick, to the slutcave!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We have started to decorate penises.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
