I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
