She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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