What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
