I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
