Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
4 words: hood of his car
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
