I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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