Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
