I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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