It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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