Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
