nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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