Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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