Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
