i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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