Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
