I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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