I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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