I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
