how hairy? two words: wookie tits
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
