oh god the rape fog is back!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
