It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
