Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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