I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
They are going to name an STD after you.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
