I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
